Friday, August 29, 2008

Hurt

I know this blog is supposed to be about personal finance, but right now it is going to be about my mid-life crisis and being newly single. I am extremely hurt and angry right now. In fact, I don't really know how I feel. Alone, lost, disappointed, angry, tired, pathetic, emotional, weak, like crying.....Last night, I found out that the "ex" (that is what I am going to start calling him) left to go to Destin for the long weekend with a newly single guy friend of his. This newly singe guy friend and his finance get ended things after pushing their wedding date back twice. I have tried to be supportive of our friend and let the "ex" hang out with him several times a week since I have started a new job and working long hours anyways, but apparently misery loves company. What makes me so mad is that we were all planning on going to Destin together and leaving after work today. Which means that the "ex" and newly single guy having been planning this. I understand that the "ex" didn't just do this on a whim and probably thought about it and I understand that he is probably in a bad place right now too and needed to get away, but it still makes me mad. Grow some balls.....That is how I feel. If you were planning on doing this, don't end things the morning that you are planning to go out of town for a fun weekend. You suck.

I know these posts are really negative and if you don't like reading these things I completely understand, but it feels so much better to put it in writing. I am having so many feelings. However, I am going to put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. That is all that I can do.

On a better note, the old roommate, the new roommate and I all went out to dinner last night. We had a great time, consumed a lot of beer and then consumed a lot of vodka, and I didn't cry one bit. I love it when your friends really step up and know how to be there for you. I am so grateful to have these friends. So, I have a decision to make - (1) do I go out with old roommate again tonight to hang out with some of her work friends that I don't know so that I can meet some more great friends or (2) do I go home and visit my family? I am definitely going home to visit family, I just don't know if I should go tonight or in the morning. I just don't know how fun I will be at meeting new people when I am heart broken. I don't want to be make everyone miserable. And I doubt that I am a whole lot of fun to be around right now. Any advice?

4 comments:

Britt said...

Oh I'm so sorry :( Being blindsided like that is a horrible thing. If you need an e-friend to vent to, feel free to email. Sometimes it helps just to get it out of your head.

*HUGS* x 2390482309423048!

nickydue said...

I would say go visit your family. After a pretty hard break up, I tried going out with friends and meeting new people. It wasn't really much fun. But I found that hanging out with my family made me feel better. Just being surrounded by people who loved me no matter what gave me the kind of comfort that I really needed. I also found great value in spending some time alone or hanging out with one really good friend.

GG said...

I don't think there's a girl alive who, when reading this and your last post, wouldn't want to reach through the computer and give you a big hug. It sucks.

Maybe he just needs time, a break, whatever. (No excuse, obviously.)

Once, when I was in college, a guy I thought I loved revealed he didn't love me. I remember a friend telling me this: If you can't trust his decision-making skills with something like this, how could you trust him with anything?

I hope that makes sense the way I typed it... to me, it was liberating. I was so into him, and he didn't want to be with me, so I thought maybe I should trust this amazing-so-amazing man's judgment. In the end, I was really, really glad with how things ended up.

Whatever happens, my thoughts are with you.

Sallie's Niece said...

Oh honey I'm SO sorry to read about what you are going through! A similar thing happened to me. Literally the morning my ex and I were supposed to go out of town together he ditched me to go camping with his friends. After three years of me being patient and no pressure about the future and hang out with your friends all the time kind of relationship. I cried hysterically and he still went. We broke up of course. Some guys just don't want to settle down or are too chicken shit about it. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't end up with someone as immature as he is. Take care of yourself!