Hurt

I know this blog is supposed to be about personal finance, but right now it is going to be about my mid-life crisis and being newly single. I am extremely hurt and angry right now. In fact, I don't really know how I feel. Alone, lost, disappointed, angry, tired, pathetic, emotional, weak, like crying.....Last night, I found out that the "ex" (that is what I am going to start calling him) left to go to Destin for the long weekend with a newly single guy friend of his. This newly singe guy friend and his finance get ended things after pushing their wedding date back twice. I have tried to be supportive of our friend and let the "ex" hang out with him several times a week since I have started a new job and working long hours anyways, but apparently misery loves company. What makes me so mad is that we were all planning on going to Destin together and leaving after work today. Which means that the "ex" and newly single guy having been planning this. I understand that the "ex" didn't just do this on a whim and probably thought about it and I understand that he is probably in a bad place right now too and needed to get away, but it still makes me mad. Grow some balls.....That is how I feel. If you were planning on doing this, don't end things the morning that you are planning to go out of town for a fun weekend. You suck.

I know these posts are really negative and if you don't like reading these things I completely understand, but it feels so much better to put it in writing. I am having so many feelings. However, I am going to put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. That is all that I can do.

On a better note, the old roommate, the new roommate and I all went out to dinner last night. We had a great time, consumed a lot of beer and then consumed a lot of vodka, and I didn't cry one bit. I love it when your friends really step up and know how to be there for you. I am so grateful to have these friends. So, I have a decision to make - (1) do I go out with old roommate again tonight to hang out with some of her work friends that I don't know so that I can meet some more great friends or (2) do I go home and visit my family? I am definitely going home to visit family, I just don't know if I should go tonight or in the morning. I just don't know how fun I will be at meeting new people when I am heart broken. I don't want to be make everyone miserable. And I doubt that I am a whole lot of fun to be around right now. Any advice?

Pitty Party

I am having my own pitty party today because the bf of three plus years broke up with me this morning. He said that we have been talking about getting married for a little over a year, have gone to look at wedding rings, and he cannot seem to want to buy one. So, even though he supposedly wants to marry me and supposedly loves me, he doesn't know what it holding him back and therefore is letting me go because it isn't far that we keep dating.

I am very disappointed in him and the situation. I think that he is selfish. I think that he is selfish by not taking a leap of faith in himself, in me, in our relationship. I think he is selfish for making this decision by himself and not talking with me about it. I think that he is selfish in the fact that he doesn't want to get married because that requires a lot of sacrifices that he obviously is not ready to make.

I know that it sounds like I don't love him and that he is not the right guy for me (and maybe he isn't), but you cannot help who you love. And even though he is all of these things, I still love him. And I still think that it can work, but I don't want to be in a relationship when someone is not giving it their all. I don't want someone to love me because they feel like they have too. Plus, this is my pitty party, I can say all the mean things I like.

The hardest thing is that I wasn't prepared for this AT ALL. I had no idea that things weren't happening as we had been talking about. I am completely shocked. I am an emotional wreck. I am pissed off. And I am sad. I know that marriage is a BIG step, but I am ready to get married and start a family.

HELP>>>>>>

Free Jewelry

I didn't have the turn out that I expected last night. I don't know whether people just don't have the money to spend on jewelry so would rather not attend and therefore not feel obligated to buy or whether it just wasn't a good night or whether my friends just really aren't good friends after all. I am hoping it was one of the first two and not the last. However, out of the 5 girls that I did have show up, they really spent the dough. I ended up having $760 of jewelry purchased; thus, giving me $380 in FREE JEWELRY.

That is where the sales pitch comes in because it wasn't exactly free. I had to pay taxes and shipping. The shipping wouldn't have been so bad, but the taxes on $380 are a bit steep. All in all, I spent $93.60. This money is definitely coming out of next month's shopping budget as I have depleted all of this month's budget. So, I put it on a credit card. OUCH... At least I will get rewards from my credit card and can pay it back before interest kicks in.

On the bright side, I got 17 pieces of jewelry for $93.60. I am excited to add this jewelry to my wardrobe as I hardly have any jewelry at all.

Jewerly Party

The time has come for me to host my very first jewelry party. And I must say, it isn't even over with and I will NEVER do one again. Not only is it costing me money - $30.00 in food and drinks for the guest, but a lot of time and energy making sure that there is a good turnout for the party. It is exhausting calling everyone to make sure that they remember that the party is tonight and that they have directions to my house. Don't get me wrong, I am glad to help a friend out who is starting a new side business. However, I feel that I have now done my duty and don't think that I will venture to do it again. This just isn't my thing.

So, I am crossing my fingers and hoping that my friends come to the party and buy jewelry. If I can get at least 12-15 girls to come, I will be happy.

Hearing - Part II

I had my very first hearing in front of a Chancellor this morning. And guess what...it wasn't as bad as I had expected. I know everyone was telling me that it wasn't a big deal and that I would do fine, but those people had a significant amount of hearings under their belt. This was my very first one. The chancellor was very nice, I had all my ducks in a row, and she signed off on all the appropriate paperwork. I filed it with the chancery clerk's office and voila, my first case is under way! Oh the little things that bring me joy in life. This was made even more exciting by the fact that when I got to the car, the bf had left me a text message wishing me luck. That really made me smile.

Afterwards, on my way back to the office, I decided to stop by my last office that I left three weeks ago. It seems that I got out just in the nick of time. There was been drama, drama, and more drama, since I left. And let me tell you, I do not particularly like drama. I tend to prefer, peace and harmony. Ha.

Let me not kid myself though, I have not had peace and harmony at my new job either. Well, I take that back, in the office it has been very peaceful and harmonious, but the clients always call in an uproar and want to curse you out. What can I expect...they hired me because they were in a bind in the first place. Ha. However, it has been very interesting and full of experiences since I have arrived and I thank God everyday for making this an easy choice for me. I am super glad that I picked this firm over the others to come work for even if I lost out on potentially ($15K extra a year). Money isn't everything, right? My happiness has to count for something.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! My 3 year old niece is coming to stay the weekend so I am sure it will be interesting and exhausting.

I finally have a free minute in my day to actually write a meaningful post, but guess what...I am too tired to think of anything meaningful on the financial front. I am struggling badly this month with my money. I have no set budget, have been out of town three weekends and am planning to go out of town for Labor Day, but have little to no money to my name. It sucks! That is about all I can say.

Gas prices are killing my budget. Food prices are killing my budget. Needless to say, my budget has been eliminated this month. Anyone with advice on how to better prepare starting next month, please send it my way.

Right now, I don't even want to think of my financial well-being because I am barely staying above water without charging on my credit card.

Hearing

I HAVE MY FIRST HEARING IN FRONT OF A CHANCELLOR THIS FRIDAY MORNING. Is it okay to be nervous, because I am! While I am fully prepared, i.e. have all materials ready, it is still a little scary to go in front of the "big dogs." But it is exciting as well. I am sure once I get a couple under my belt, it will just be a job. I am now being to realize the look on people's faces when they were standing in front of the justice that I was working under at the Mississippi Supreme Court. However, I will be on a much smaller scale as far as importance (at least this is what I keep telling myself). Wish me luck!

Meal Plan Monday

I know it has been a couple of Monday since I have posted a meal plan. Believe me when I tell you, I definitely spend more money without a set plan on what's for dinner during the week. I don't always follow a strict schedule, but going shopping and buying exactly what you need for at least five meals for the week helps out tremendously. It has gotten so out of hand, I cannot even begin to estimate the amount of money I have spent on food lately. With that being said, I am going to try and go back to Meal Plan Mondays. Up for this week:

Monday - Mozzarella Chicken with Spanish Rice
Tuesday - Chicken Piccata over Angel Hair Pasta
Wednesday - Pork Tenderloin with Veggies
Thursday - Tacos with chips and Salsa
Friday - Pizza

This weekend is up in the air.

$75

I am going to have to rack up on the no spend days during the next two weeks. Not only do I have 4 left to meet my goal of 8 no-spend days for the month of August, but I only have $75 left in my checking account for the month. Having two HUGE spending weekends at the beginning of the month (Dave Matthews and Bachelorette Party) has depleted my monthly budget. It is going to be tough, but hopefully I can make it without drawing any money out of my emergency fund. Technically, I have $50 which I can pull out for the co-pay for my emergency room visit.

Lunch Out

Every since I started this new job, I find it harder and harder to bring my lunch. (I guess not technically bring it, but eat it). At my last job, I was approximately 2 miles away from home. That was perfect! I got to leave the office, let my dogs out and eat lunch, all in the quiet space of my/or my bf's home. That is no longer the case. I now have a 12 mile commute to work, making it impractical (and almost impossible with only one hour) to go home for lunch. I have been attempting to bring my lunch with me to work, but let's face it...that sucks. Not so much the food, but the part about never leaving the office. I just cannot stay in my office and not take a little break from work. So, instead I have been going to lunch with my boss & co-workers. I know this is going to start getting rather expensive, that's where you all come in - what can I do to make bringing my lunch and staying at the office a better option? As sad as it is to say, the savings is not enough motivation.

Half Way There

As of yesterday, I am half way to reaching my goal of 8 no spend days for the month of August. The best part is that it is only the 13th, so there are plenty more days ahead to reach this attainable goal.

For those of you who were going to participate in this challenge, how many no-spend days have you had thus far?

Bachelorette Party Spending

I am sure all of you are dying to know if I was able to keep under my $150 spending budget for the bachelorette party. Let me preface my spending by saying that this does not include the spending for the Lingerie Shower (although that wasn't too bad). In fact, I ended up having plenty of help. The bride's sister sent $100 check to help, the bride's future sister-in-law brought two appetizers and the cake, and a friend of the bride brought alcohol for the weekend plus two appetizer. So split between my mother and I for the lingerie shower were - finger sandwiches, shrimp with cocktail sauce, dip with chips, cheese ball with Frito's, mints, punch and nuts. For about $45 a person. I spent the bride's sister's $100 on the decorations, plates, forks, cups, etc.

Now for the Bachelorette Party:
Hotel Room - $38
Dinner at Rendezvous - $30
Two lunches - $27.00
Gas - $25
Drinks (mostly bought by guys out on Beale Street) - $15.00

Total Spending - $135.

Emergency Fund

I have been saving religiously in an Emergency Fund, and I am now thankful that I did. This past weekend in Memphis, I had an unfortunate accident and ended up breaking my thumb. (yes, you read that right, my thumb). I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon in the emergency room for a temporary split and made an appointment today to see a orthopedic doctor. I am not sure what this little accident is going to cost me, but I am sure it is not going to be cheap. I already had to pay a $50 co-pay at the ER yesterday.

The worst part is that I am in limbo as far as insurance goes. I am covered but with starting a new job I don't have all the paperwork processed or any insurance cards. I am not sure if I am going to have to pay out-of-pocket and then try to get the insurance company to reimburse me or what.

Lingerie Shower

The time has come for the Lingerie Shower/Bachelorette Party weekend. We are going to have so much fun, I can hardly stand it. But of course, nothing ever goes exactly as planned...

For instance, Wednesday night I had two different girls call and RSVP for the shower. And while that is wonderful for the bride, it is trouble for me. I only booked one hotel suite (three queen beds) for six girls, well with two more coming that is eight girls in ONE room. I tried to call and get another room, but apparently it is the start of Elvis week in Memphis and every room is taken. Where are these people's manners? Who lacked in the etiquette department about RSVPing? It wouldn't be so bad, except we ARE GOING OUT OF TOWN. Where did you think that you were going to sleep? Both girls said they wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor (which is exactly where they are going to be), but come on girls, we are 26+ years old. We all have jobs and can afford a room without splitting one room between 8, count them 8, girls. And sleeping on the floor is the only solution. So girls - bring your blankets and pillows because it is going to be a long night.

In better news, I have so much fun stuff for the weekend. I have bling rings (thanks Sallie's Niece for the great idea), I have white boas because we are all wearing black dresses, I have candy necklaces, I have glow in the dark bracelets, I have a game of "truth or dare", I have the bride a "suck for a buck" t-shirt, and a fabulous veil.

Also, this is exactly what I need after a very stressful, fun, relatively easy-going, first week of work. It has been hard to plan all of this, but it will be well-worth it if the bride has a great time. She is truly one of the most thoughtful, considerate, nice, fun girls in my life.

And don't forget the budget, I am hoping to come out of this weekend spending less than $150.00. I will let you know if that is possible at the beginning of next week. So far, so good.

Breathe

I cannot even begin to relay what a big difference this job is from my last job. My last job at the Court was not stressful at all, 35 hours a week, minimal work, slow, easy, and steady. This new job however, is none of those things. It is fast paced, exciting, challenging, mind-boggling, and a whole lot of fun. I have not gotten home before 7:00 after getting in at 8:00 that morning. I have been working non-stop and loving every minute of it. I definitely think that I have picked the right firm to work for and could not be happier with my decision. I now understand what people mean when they say, sometimes you just have to put it down and go home. I could be in this office non-stop for the rest of my life and never take a break. There is just that much to do. And boy does it make the day go by faster.

I LOVE the people in the office. They are helpful, understanding, courteous, and fun to be around. We laugh, joke, and are serious when something is urgent and needs to be done. I have been given my very first client of my own and actually had to call them today. But I was ready. I am ready to gain experience and begin the start of my career. And I am so glad to have family and friends that support that decision.

My father sent me flowers on my first day of work, and what a difference that made. To know that I have his support and that he knew this was going to be a stressful day for me. My mind has been running non-stop. I cannot seem to get a good night's rest because all the things that I have to do the next day are running though my head. Can you tell that I am excited? This is what I have been waiting for!!!!

Hectic

Things have been really hectic around here with starting a new job. Just stay with me. I promise I will be back to posting regularly very soon.

As for any updates...I was able to stay within my budget for the Dave Matthews show this past weekend and hope to not spend more than $150 this upcoming weekend for my old roommates bachelorette party in Memphis. I have actually had several people help towards the cost which makes the whole experience better.

Food prices are drastically increasing. I have almost decreased my food budget for as far I as can without cutting out meat. That may be my next option if prices don't stop rising.

As soon as I can get the numbers crunched, I will post how I fared last month in my budget.

Updated Sidebars

Emergency Fund - $715 (cannot wait to reach my $3000 limit and start saving for a new car!)

Travel Fund - $100

Gift Fund - $500 (Being prepared for Christmas is going to be so nice.)