Going Out

I always thought being in a relationship was tough on my pocketbook. The "ex" and I had plans every weekend (usually traveling somewhere) and ate out a lot. Even when we weren't eating out, we still prepared lunches and dinners everyday, but being single again is just as expensive. Last night my roommate and I went out for dinner and drinks. We had a great time chatting and enjoying ourselves. My total at the end of the night was $10.58. While that is not too bad, if it becomes an every night occurrence it could start to catch up to me. I just don't want to sit at home and "think." I am relatively young -26, single, and hoping to discover how to be alone.

I am not sure what I have planned for tonight, but I am going to lunch with a friend. Then tomorrow, I am treating myself to a mani and pedi. I plan on hitting the town this weekend and need to look HOT. So, as of now, my blog is going to be about the cost of being single and discovering myself. Don't worry, I won't forget about savings and retirement, but they will just be on the back burner for a few weeks.

First Weekend Single

I had a really good weekend staying busy and trying to remember that I am now officially SINGLE. On Friday night, I decided to stay in town and go out with the old roommate. The party that she basically had to "drag" me to ended up being a lot of fun. I met several people that she works with and their friends. It was great to get out of the house and not have to sit at home worrying that my life is a disaster. I even met a HOTT Ortho doctor. While he didn't get my number, I had a good time visiting nonetheless and he wasn't hard on the eyes. A welcomed distraction!

On Saturday morning I drove home in just enough time to get ready and head to the La Tech/Miss State football game. If you can believe it, La Tech beat Miss State 22 - 14. It was a close game that had the stadium packed until the very last hike of the football. Afterwards, it was late so I headed back to my mother's house to visit.

On Sunday, the family drove over to Shreveport to go boating and cook out for the Labor Day holiday. I attempted to wake board and got up on the very first time. This is something new for me because until this weekend I would have never attempted to wake board. I was too much of a chicken and afraid of failure. But I DID IT!

Monday morning, I got up early and headed back home. I wanted to leave Louisiana before the hurricane affected the northern area where I am from. Good thing I did too because my parents have been stuck without electricity, and I am at work. Once home, I had four friends come over for drinks and to play games. It was another welcomed distraction. I cannot allow myself idle time right now. I need to put myself out there and hope for the best. Thanks for all the support lately from my great readers......Even though I don't know any of you personally, your words work incredible miracles. They soothe my heart and let me know that I am not alone in my feelings.

Hurt

I know this blog is supposed to be about personal finance, but right now it is going to be about my mid-life crisis and being newly single. I am extremely hurt and angry right now. In fact, I don't really know how I feel. Alone, lost, disappointed, angry, tired, pathetic, emotional, weak, like crying.....Last night, I found out that the "ex" (that is what I am going to start calling him) left to go to Destin for the long weekend with a newly single guy friend of his. This newly singe guy friend and his finance get ended things after pushing their wedding date back twice. I have tried to be supportive of our friend and let the "ex" hang out with him several times a week since I have started a new job and working long hours anyways, but apparently misery loves company. What makes me so mad is that we were all planning on going to Destin together and leaving after work today. Which means that the "ex" and newly single guy having been planning this. I understand that the "ex" didn't just do this on a whim and probably thought about it and I understand that he is probably in a bad place right now too and needed to get away, but it still makes me mad. Grow some balls.....That is how I feel. If you were planning on doing this, don't end things the morning that you are planning to go out of town for a fun weekend. You suck.

I know these posts are really negative and if you don't like reading these things I completely understand, but it feels so much better to put it in writing. I am having so many feelings. However, I am going to put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. That is all that I can do.

On a better note, the old roommate, the new roommate and I all went out to dinner last night. We had a great time, consumed a lot of beer and then consumed a lot of vodka, and I didn't cry one bit. I love it when your friends really step up and know how to be there for you. I am so grateful to have these friends. So, I have a decision to make - (1) do I go out with old roommate again tonight to hang out with some of her work friends that I don't know so that I can meet some more great friends or (2) do I go home and visit my family? I am definitely going home to visit family, I just don't know if I should go tonight or in the morning. I just don't know how fun I will be at meeting new people when I am heart broken. I don't want to be make everyone miserable. And I doubt that I am a whole lot of fun to be around right now. Any advice?

Pitty Party

I am having my own pitty party today because the bf of three plus years broke up with me this morning. He said that we have been talking about getting married for a little over a year, have gone to look at wedding rings, and he cannot seem to want to buy one. So, even though he supposedly wants to marry me and supposedly loves me, he doesn't know what it holding him back and therefore is letting me go because it isn't far that we keep dating.

I am very disappointed in him and the situation. I think that he is selfish. I think that he is selfish by not taking a leap of faith in himself, in me, in our relationship. I think he is selfish for making this decision by himself and not talking with me about it. I think that he is selfish in the fact that he doesn't want to get married because that requires a lot of sacrifices that he obviously is not ready to make.

I know that it sounds like I don't love him and that he is not the right guy for me (and maybe he isn't), but you cannot help who you love. And even though he is all of these things, I still love him. And I still think that it can work, but I don't want to be in a relationship when someone is not giving it their all. I don't want someone to love me because they feel like they have too. Plus, this is my pitty party, I can say all the mean things I like.

The hardest thing is that I wasn't prepared for this AT ALL. I had no idea that things weren't happening as we had been talking about. I am completely shocked. I am an emotional wreck. I am pissed off. And I am sad. I know that marriage is a BIG step, but I am ready to get married and start a family.

HELP>>>>>>

Free Jewelry

I didn't have the turn out that I expected last night. I don't know whether people just don't have the money to spend on jewelry so would rather not attend and therefore not feel obligated to buy or whether it just wasn't a good night or whether my friends just really aren't good friends after all. I am hoping it was one of the first two and not the last. However, out of the 5 girls that I did have show up, they really spent the dough. I ended up having $760 of jewelry purchased; thus, giving me $380 in FREE JEWELRY.

That is where the sales pitch comes in because it wasn't exactly free. I had to pay taxes and shipping. The shipping wouldn't have been so bad, but the taxes on $380 are a bit steep. All in all, I spent $93.60. This money is definitely coming out of next month's shopping budget as I have depleted all of this month's budget. So, I put it on a credit card. OUCH... At least I will get rewards from my credit card and can pay it back before interest kicks in.

On the bright side, I got 17 pieces of jewelry for $93.60. I am excited to add this jewelry to my wardrobe as I hardly have any jewelry at all.

Jewerly Party

The time has come for me to host my very first jewelry party. And I must say, it isn't even over with and I will NEVER do one again. Not only is it costing me money - $30.00 in food and drinks for the guest, but a lot of time and energy making sure that there is a good turnout for the party. It is exhausting calling everyone to make sure that they remember that the party is tonight and that they have directions to my house. Don't get me wrong, I am glad to help a friend out who is starting a new side business. However, I feel that I have now done my duty and don't think that I will venture to do it again. This just isn't my thing.

So, I am crossing my fingers and hoping that my friends come to the party and buy jewelry. If I can get at least 12-15 girls to come, I will be happy.

I finally have a free minute in my day to actually write a meaningful post, but guess what...I am too tired to think of anything meaningful on the financial front. I am struggling badly this month with my money. I have no set budget, have been out of town three weekends and am planning to go out of town for Labor Day, but have little to no money to my name. It sucks! That is about all I can say.

Gas prices are killing my budget. Food prices are killing my budget. Needless to say, my budget has been eliminated this month. Anyone with advice on how to better prepare starting next month, please send it my way.

Right now, I don't even want to think of my financial well-being because I am barely staying above water without charging on my credit card.

Breathe

I cannot even begin to relay what a big difference this job is from my last job. My last job at the Court was not stressful at all, 35 hours a week, minimal work, slow, easy, and steady. This new job however, is none of those things. It is fast paced, exciting, challenging, mind-boggling, and a whole lot of fun. I have not gotten home before 7:00 after getting in at 8:00 that morning. I have been working non-stop and loving every minute of it. I definitely think that I have picked the right firm to work for and could not be happier with my decision. I now understand what people mean when they say, sometimes you just have to put it down and go home. I could be in this office non-stop for the rest of my life and never take a break. There is just that much to do. And boy does it make the day go by faster.

I LOVE the people in the office. They are helpful, understanding, courteous, and fun to be around. We laugh, joke, and are serious when something is urgent and needs to be done. I have been given my very first client of my own and actually had to call them today. But I was ready. I am ready to gain experience and begin the start of my career. And I am so glad to have family and friends that support that decision.

My father sent me flowers on my first day of work, and what a difference that made. To know that I have his support and that he knew this was going to be a stressful day for me. My mind has been running non-stop. I cannot seem to get a good night's rest because all the things that I have to do the next day are running though my head. Can you tell that I am excited? This is what I have been waiting for!!!!

Starting a New Chapter

Today is my last day at the Mississippi Supreme Court. I am feeling so many emotions. I am thrilled, excited, hesitant, sad, inspired, the list could go on and on. I have had such a wonderful experience at the Court. From making new friends, having a great boss that is laid back and a pleasure to work for, having a great suite of employees willing to help each other out, flexible hours, long lunches, breakfast on Friday. . . you get the point. While I am hesitant to leave this job because it is familiar and I am great at it, I am really excited to start the beginning of a new chapter in my life. What I would classify as "REALLY practicing law." I know that this new chapter is not always going to be grand, but it probably is going to be a roller coaster with many ups and downs trying to find my way. However, that is half the fun - learning about yourself, your capabilities, and impressing others with your willingness to take on any obstacle.

I have the long weekend off to enjoy myself, and I am going to take the time to mentally prepare myself for this next chapter.

Anyone been through a similar experience lately that can lend some advice?

Frustrated

As I previously mentioned, I am hosting a bachelorette party for my old roommate the second weekend of August. We are having her Lingerie shower at my house on Friday night and then heading to Memphis to party on Saturday night. I originally had wanted to plan her party closer to her wedding (in October), but the other girls that volunteered to help ALL wanted the second weekend in August. *

Well, yesterday I found out that ALL three other girls that volunteered to host her party have backed out and are not coming. Only one girl, her sister, is actually sending money to help defray the cost. This is frustrating because I do not have the money to cover all her expenses and I don't feel appropriate speaking with her about it. She has been a very dear and great friend to me and I know that if the situations were reversed she would plan my bachelorette party without any help. The help is not really the problem though because I can plan the party by myself, it is a money issue. The only solution that I can come up with, is after finding out who all is attending the events to send them an email asking for volunteers to bring appetizers to her Lingerie Shower. I expect whomever is staying in her hotel room is expecting to split her cost and at dinner/bars her friends are just going to have to pony up. Any other suggestions?

*The second weekend in August was inconvenient for me because I start my new job that week and am not sure what time I will get off for a party that starts at 7 at MY HOUSE.

CHANGE

I am beginning to get really nervous about starting my new job in August. It is not the feeling of not being qualified, it is the fact that it is change. A change in surroundings, a change in work, a change in people and a change in pay. There are a lot of money expenses that I have yet to work out.

First, my commute is increasing from about 4 miles round-trip to 30 miles round-trip. That means, either my gas budget will have to increase or I will have to move closer to work. I am not sure which option is better. Currently, I live in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a friend. Living with a roommate keeps my cost of living low. I split rent and all bills. If I move, I will have to rent a place on my own for an extra $300, plus pay all bills alone. I don't think that I will be spending an extra $400 in gas every month for the longer commute. But gas prices are not the only consideration. I will have the wear and tear on my already 7 year old car. I won't be able to go home for lunch to let the dog out. And I will have to wake up at least an hour earlier (30 min commute and have to be at work 30 mins earlier). However, the bf will still be in the same location which is close to my current residence. Logically, we would split our time between our two places, but then we are both spending money on gas. Another solution may be to buy a new car that gets far better gas mileage. I will start a car fund soon and snowflake my ending balance each month into that account. Additionally, I can probably get about $7,000 for the car I currently own.

Second, I will have the cost of business cards, and possibly the cost of having to be admitted to more courts to practice law. This is NOT cheap people.

Basically, too many things are running through my head about starting my new job. Needless to say, I am starting to become stressed.

How have you coped in the past to starting a new job? Should I move closer to work or stay put? Do you think buying a new car with better gas mileage is a better option? The $400 I would spend to rent a new place each month could go towards a car payment and insurance.

Job Update

About 5 weeks ago I accepted my next job. The job search was a long and difficult process and required a great deal of soul-searching. As my current job comes to an end on July 31, I had no other option than to get back in the market and find future employment. While it was stressful, it was exciting at the same time. I was searching for a job that meet all of my specifications in a life-long career. Since I don't plan on switching jobs anytime soon (especially in our economic state), I had to find that perfect job. The right people, the right pay, the right environment. I must report I believe I found that perfect job without compromising a thing.* And that is a great feeling.

Well, my future employer called me today to see if I could possibly start earlier. Apparently he is super busy and could really use the help. Of course, he realizes that I have a commitment to my current employer and it is not mandatory that I start sooner, but it would be nice. There are several benefits to starting earlier. I could knock-out my six month probation period, I could start building my clientele, I could learn the work environment, and I could prove that I am the woman for the job. However, while all of this seems ideal - what do I do about my current employer? Should I just mention the situation to him and see what he says? Should I go about my daily grind and put in my seven more weeks? Should I feel guilty I want to leave and start my new job?

Don't get me wrong. I love my current job. And, but for, the job only be for two years, I would be happy to stay here long-term. That is just not an option. So, it is not like I want to leave my current job, I know that I must leave and I am ready to get that transition underway. I guess it is the unknown on the other side that has be a tad bit curious.

*I say I didn't compromise a thing and by that I mean things that are important to me. Of course there were several compromises - one being on whether to move to the Coast for a job or stay in my current location to be with the bf. There was the compromise over pay - straight salary or salary plus commission. Etc. With every decision there are always compromises.

Feel free to tell me about any situation that you may have experienced that is similar and what you decided to do.

Feeling left behind

Krystal @ Give me back my five bucks had a post recently that really touched base with me. I too tend to feel left behind compared to some of my friends. Every couple that the bf and I hang out with are all married, own their own house, and at least contemplating having children. While not all of my college friends are in that situation, most of them don't live in the same vicinity.

I have had a steady job for the past two years and still do not have a down-payment for a house, or even a car loan. I am still driving the car I had in college (7 years old) and renting a duplex with no immediate plans to move. While I am in a serious relationship, we are not engaged and that nixes even the thought of children. Sometimes I just wonder what my life would be like if I had all of those things. But, I have made the decisions not to do some of those things because I would rather be debt free before taking on more obligations. Who knows, those friends may be over their heads and barely making it. The grass always looks greener on the other side!

EMPLOYED

I accepted a job!

Although I will not make as much money for the first six months as I would like, I think that I will be happiest with Job Offer #3. I will definitely be in serious budget mode. And I must add a new category - taxes. The employer is not withholding taxes. Thus, I will need to start paying the quarterly. Does anyone know a simple formula to figure out how much I should pay each quarter?

Now, the hard part. . . calling the other offers back. Any suggestions as to what to say. "I sincerely appreciate the offer, but I have decided to go with another firm."

Job Offers are ROLLING in

The time has come. . . possible future employers have made their decisions and I officially have three job offers! Now it is time to weigh my options and trust my instinct.

Job Offer #1: This position is on the Coast, with a BIGLAW firm, making mega money ($38,000 more than I make now) and having little to no time off (even weekends).

Job Offer #2: This position is with the State, great benefits, 8-5, but pays $4000 more than I make now with little chance to earn much more than cost of living increases.

Job Offer #3: This position is in Jackson, 8-5, exactly what I make now, but in six months I will be promoted and have the opportunity to make as much as I would make with Job Offer #1 with the flexibility of less hours.

Job Offer #3 is the one that I am leaning towards. What really is six more months at the same salary? Not that long. Plus, I will gain great experience and have the opportunity to make as much or as little as I would like seeing as I will get paid 40% of my billable hour. So, the more hours I bill, the more money I will make. It is completely dependent on the amount of work I am willing to put in to it.

I will let everyone know what I have decided, when I decide. Such major life decisions . . . I need time to pray and sleep on them.

Spoke Too Soon

A few minutes after writing the below post, the possible future employer telephones me. He says that he still has not come up with a proposal, but he has another possible canidiate that can start immediately; whereas, I cannot start until August. He said he hasn't made a decision yet, but would get back to me.

This stinks. I really, really want this job and I wish that I could start tomorrow so there wouldn't be a problem. I understand that he needs someone immediately, but I was really hoping that he would be able to wait on me. I know he hasn't decided, so I should not get down about it... but, let's face it - my odds don't look great.

Looks like I may be back to square one.

Too pushy?

It has been exactly one week since I called a future employer and tried to negotiate the salary package. The conversation ended by him stating that he would crunch some numbers and get back to me. Well, a week has come and gone and I haven't heard anything back yet. Is it too soon to call him back and just touch base with him? Or should I be a little more patient and wait to see if he is going to call me back? I really want this job. And, in fact, would take it even if he doesn't agree to my proposal, but I am biting my nails waiting for his response. How would you handle this situation?

Decisions

Some really hard decisions are coming up, and money is a HUGE factor!

I heard back from the BIGlaw firm on the Coast. Once they get approval from the main office (it is a regional firm), they are going to make me an offer. It is not a down deal yet, but there should not be any problem getting it approved. That starts decision #1. The bf has major concerns with me moving to the Coast without him. He is concerned that he may not want to move down there for another 2 years and we will be apart that time. But, the opportunity is incredible. I will get major experience, get paid double what I am making now which will go a long way in debt repayment, and I will be where we discussed moving.

Next, I went on an interview yesterday in Jackson (where the bf wants to stay for now) with a very small firm. The offer was quite interesting. He wants to hire someone and pay them 40% of their billable hour. Basically, I would not have a base salary. I would be an hourly employee. This scenerio could work for or against my benefit. For example, if I billed at a rate of $150/hour and worked 40 hours a week - I would take make 2400 a week. However, if I wanted to take time off or a vacation - I would be paid absolutely NOTHING. Otherwise, in I get a lot of experience and be in Jackson with the bf.

I also went on an interview in Jackson last week, but still waiting to hear back from them.

Now, I don't know what to do. Do I keep sending out resumes and going on interviews to find that perfect job in Jackson, do I move to the Coast and risk my entire relationship with the love of my life while working my *ss off but being greatly compensated, or do I take a job making hourly pay? HELP!!!! We are taking about a MAJOR life decision. And I am going to have a meltdown.

Another Interview

I know this blog is supposed to be about money and finances, but I just cannot help but talk about my luck in getting interviews lately. I am starting to feel the decision to go to law school and spend two years clerking was the "right" decision, even with the market decline. I have not "officially" had on offer yet, but atleast I am being given the opportunity to prove myself.

That being said, I have an interview this Thursday! It is a very small firm (in fact only one other attorney). I am finding that pretty exciting. I will get a lot of first hand experience because it will only be the two of us to do the work and . . . maybe, just maybe, one day the practice can be bought out by me when this attorney is ready to retire.

The drawback - I don't know how much a sole practitioner can actually pay me. I am confident that my skills are worth more than I am being paid now. I can not afford to take a paycut with a student loan minimum payment of $807 due every month. Not if I ever want to pay it off, buy a "new to me" car, or purchase a house...all of which I want in the somewhat near future.

Nonetheless, I have the interview and I am excited about it. I put all my faith in God that one of the many opportunities that are presenting themselves to me is going to turn out to be the right decision for me. Prayer works miracles!