First Weekend Single

I had a really good weekend staying busy and trying to remember that I am now officially SINGLE. On Friday night, I decided to stay in town and go out with the old roommate. The party that she basically had to "drag" me to ended up being a lot of fun. I met several people that she works with and their friends. It was great to get out of the house and not have to sit at home worrying that my life is a disaster. I even met a HOTT Ortho doctor. While he didn't get my number, I had a good time visiting nonetheless and he wasn't hard on the eyes. A welcomed distraction!

On Saturday morning I drove home in just enough time to get ready and head to the La Tech/Miss State football game. If you can believe it, La Tech beat Miss State 22 - 14. It was a close game that had the stadium packed until the very last hike of the football. Afterwards, it was late so I headed back to my mother's house to visit.

On Sunday, the family drove over to Shreveport to go boating and cook out for the Labor Day holiday. I attempted to wake board and got up on the very first time. This is something new for me because until this weekend I would have never attempted to wake board. I was too much of a chicken and afraid of failure. But I DID IT!

Monday morning, I got up early and headed back home. I wanted to leave Louisiana before the hurricane affected the northern area where I am from. Good thing I did too because my parents have been stuck without electricity, and I am at work. Once home, I had four friends come over for drinks and to play games. It was another welcomed distraction. I cannot allow myself idle time right now. I need to put myself out there and hope for the best. Thanks for all the support lately from my great readers......Even though I don't know any of you personally, your words work incredible miracles. They soothe my heart and let me know that I am not alone in my feelings.

Hurt

I know this blog is supposed to be about personal finance, but right now it is going to be about my mid-life crisis and being newly single. I am extremely hurt and angry right now. In fact, I don't really know how I feel. Alone, lost, disappointed, angry, tired, pathetic, emotional, weak, like crying.....Last night, I found out that the "ex" (that is what I am going to start calling him) left to go to Destin for the long weekend with a newly single guy friend of his. This newly singe guy friend and his finance get ended things after pushing their wedding date back twice. I have tried to be supportive of our friend and let the "ex" hang out with him several times a week since I have started a new job and working long hours anyways, but apparently misery loves company. What makes me so mad is that we were all planning on going to Destin together and leaving after work today. Which means that the "ex" and newly single guy having been planning this. I understand that the "ex" didn't just do this on a whim and probably thought about it and I understand that he is probably in a bad place right now too and needed to get away, but it still makes me mad. Grow some balls.....That is how I feel. If you were planning on doing this, don't end things the morning that you are planning to go out of town for a fun weekend. You suck.

I know these posts are really negative and if you don't like reading these things I completely understand, but it feels so much better to put it in writing. I am having so many feelings. However, I am going to put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. That is all that I can do.

On a better note, the old roommate, the new roommate and I all went out to dinner last night. We had a great time, consumed a lot of beer and then consumed a lot of vodka, and I didn't cry one bit. I love it when your friends really step up and know how to be there for you. I am so grateful to have these friends. So, I have a decision to make - (1) do I go out with old roommate again tonight to hang out with some of her work friends that I don't know so that I can meet some more great friends or (2) do I go home and visit my family? I am definitely going home to visit family, I just don't know if I should go tonight or in the morning. I just don't know how fun I will be at meeting new people when I am heart broken. I don't want to be make everyone miserable. And I doubt that I am a whole lot of fun to be around right now. Any advice?

Pitty Party

I am having my own pitty party today because the bf of three plus years broke up with me this morning. He said that we have been talking about getting married for a little over a year, have gone to look at wedding rings, and he cannot seem to want to buy one. So, even though he supposedly wants to marry me and supposedly loves me, he doesn't know what it holding him back and therefore is letting me go because it isn't far that we keep dating.

I am very disappointed in him and the situation. I think that he is selfish. I think that he is selfish by not taking a leap of faith in himself, in me, in our relationship. I think he is selfish for making this decision by himself and not talking with me about it. I think that he is selfish in the fact that he doesn't want to get married because that requires a lot of sacrifices that he obviously is not ready to make.

I know that it sounds like I don't love him and that he is not the right guy for me (and maybe he isn't), but you cannot help who you love. And even though he is all of these things, I still love him. And I still think that it can work, but I don't want to be in a relationship when someone is not giving it their all. I don't want someone to love me because they feel like they have too. Plus, this is my pitty party, I can say all the mean things I like.

The hardest thing is that I wasn't prepared for this AT ALL. I had no idea that things weren't happening as we had been talking about. I am completely shocked. I am an emotional wreck. I am pissed off. And I am sad. I know that marriage is a BIG step, but I am ready to get married and start a family.

HELP>>>>>>

3rd Year Anniversary

Tomorrow is the bf and mine 3rd year anniversary. We decided to celebrate it today since we will be involved in Easter activities all weekend. We went to lunch instead of dinner so that we could skip the appetizers, alcohol, and dessert. We wound up paying $30 for lunch. I also decided that the bf deserved a massage as our anniversary gift. He loves back rubs and is always coming about his back. I went to go pick up the gift certificate and to my surprise it was $20 less than I expected. They had a special going for first timers. All in all, we had a great anniversary and still saved money.